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Thursday, July 05, 2007,7/05/2007 08:30:00 PM

I swear I really miss everything

Hello and welcome to the long awaited episode of " FADFAD SAYS IT ALL YAW! ". Here in this show, it features the inner thoughts and feelings of FADFAD. So what are you waiting for? Read on man!

I seriously hate reminiscing seriously. But I guess I cant help it. Even if I dream for only a second, my memories will come back to me. It sucks. I hate having to remember memories and realise that I cant relive those memories now since memories can only remain memories and nothing else. Sometimes I just wish that someone can just brainwash me so I can forget about everything.

I really miss laughing with my friends, genuinely, joking around like it's nobody's business. I really miss it. At those times, my sense of humour level was on 100. Now it's only on 50. So go figure. And sometimes I laugh just to distract myself from remembering back those memories. Gosh, how pathetic can I get? Yea, if only I didn't socialize much, these memories wouldn't be here. But it already happened. So oh well.

I really missed being really happy. Last time, I always felt happy, never letting anything negative come in my way. But now, almost all my smiles are fake. I feel so empty now like theres no feelings in my anymore. And whenever I remember having fun being happy and thought abt ynnad! I'll start crying like there's no tomorrow cause I know I can't relive those back. I really really really miss being happy. Seriously.

And wth I still cant get over it. No matter how hard I tell myself to move on, bitch. I still can't. I'm really stupid. Hopeless. Pathetic. Whatever! I just wish ynnad! wouldn't ignore me so much. I just wish I can joke around sincerely all the time again. I just wish we could all be happy again. I just wish we could all be able to say anything without worrying who will get hurt again.

I wish I wish I wish. Geez. Get real. Those wishes won't come true bitch and you know that. Gahs.

I'm so messed up. Empty. Whatever.

And so that marks the end of today's episode. Tune in a century later for more!

P.S. This post is so crap that I'll salute whoever that reads this.